RELATIONSHIPS between Man and Woman
By Mrs. Abha Sharma, Jyotishacharya,
Senior Astrology researcher, Vedang Jyotish.
GOD has divided all the living -beings in two divisions ---Male and female. But both are really very different--- just like day and night, or odd and even numbers, or any two antonyms.
It has been found in many researches that not only, do men and women communicate differently, but they think, feel, react or respond, differently .Both have different ways of appreciating as well as separate ways of showing their love and affection.
In fact , the famous author John Gray has said that “MEN ARE FROM MARS, AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS” He has said this because many a times, both seem to have come from different planets.
Let me give you my own example. I still remember that day when my daughter was born. I was feeling energy drain and wanted to be cared and appreciated by all as well as by my husband. After all it was me only, who had successfully given birth to our beautiful daughter, after twelve hours of labour pain, but also I was needing moral as well as physical support desperately. But to my astonishment, soon after minutes of seeing our daughter , I saw that the centre of attraction, for my husband was our newly born child and he was only worried about her health and needs and none for me. And I was taken as granted.
I am sure, many of you, must have faced such type of situations in your life , when you, as a man or a woman, were expecting your spouse, or sister or brother, or mother or father, or any other opposite sex relation to understand you and respond as per your thinking, but it appeared to you later that they were not at all bothered about you and your feelings.
Then, what are the reasons for such types of frustrations generated in the interaction between opposite sexes. Actually, they are many. But to understand a few, here are some given below.
A---Men are motivated when they feel needed. While women are motivated when they feel cherished.
B---Men talk to convey or gather information but a women like to talk not only for informing or gathering information but also to feel better and more centered when she is upset.
C---Women also like to talk to create intimacy, while a man fears that too much intimacy may rob him of himself.
The understanding of the differences between the two sexes can help us to understand our frustrations of any relationship. Understanding the opposite sex behavior can help us cultivate relationships in our life as a lovely garden that is full of beautiful sweet smell flowers and no thorns of problems generated by misunderstandings and expectations.
With this, I will like to conclude by saying that if men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a sure chance to blossom like a rose and our life will become a journey of Joy.
Some tips for women for impressing their boy friends or spouse or any man for getting support.
1. Be brief, without any reasons to convince him. Ask directly. If a woman is not asking for help, then man assumes he is giving enough.
2. Have non demanding attitude in your tone say “Would you or Will you do “
3. Say at appropriate timing and not when he is already planning to do something of his own interest.
4. If a man grumbles, it is a good sign that he is trying to consider your request verses his needs.
5. Appreciate his work, to get more work done by him.
Some tips for Men for winning their beloved’s heart or getting support from their wives or any women at office, neighborhood, or any field of society.
1. Talk Therapy do wonders for women. So, man, you should listen to his partner and ask concerned questions off and on so that she could feel being cared and centre of your attention ( Whether you are interested or not)
2. When a woman discusses a problem or shares her feelings with a man, he thinks and takes her feelings literally. He either starts finding a solution to her problems or advices her for her improvement in the situation, but many a time women doesn’t need any solution, but a shoulder to cry upon. She many a times is capable to solve her own problems.
3. Many a times, man doesn’t say anything and just walks away ( A case after 7 to 10 years of marriage) after the opening of talks by the wife on some issues related to family or anything she feels important for her. Without realizing the significance of the need of the wife at that tome, husband either gets busy in his own work ( laptop or computer) or goes out of home without responding to his wife. This attitude shown by husband can really make her feel unsecured, because she doesn’t get the reassurance she needs at the appropriate time.
4. After a routine fight, the wife is more upset not because of difference of opinion or perception, but because the husband didn’t validate her feelings and made her feel wrong and unsupported.
5. Women need
constant appreciation as without that she feels unloved.
I hope, these tips will help in reducing the ever increasing divorce cases rate of India and foreign countries and will help all the readers to act with more patience and understanding with the opposite sexes.
written on 12.9.08,